I was 16 when I was abanoned by my step-grandfather. By that age, I was living on my own, struggling to navigate paying rent, buying food, buying clothes plus still having a 'good time' as a high schooler. I didn't have the luxery of living at home. I didn't have the luxery of a stable teenage years after my adoptive mother died 2 months and 26 days before my sweet 16 in 2004. By 16, I was an adult, making adult decisions, trying to live and survive in an adults world. By 18 I was pregnant with my first daughter. To the callous mommy's girl, living at home at 19, I genuinely believed, my daughter's father and his family would be supportive. Boy to be that young and naive again. To live in a world where you can be blinded by someone's hate towards and for no reason. None. Other than just, pure, blind hatred over the fact that her son's attentions and affections, were now being shared with another and it wasn't with mommy dearest.
By 18 I was having my daughter. Alone. With only her father there and he really didn't do anything. He wasn't supportive in any way shape or form, and simply stood there, while I all but screamed in pure agony. While yes, I understand there is nothing he could of done, the support would of still been nice, it would of been nice to be told "good job hunny" or somthing, anything. But instead, he just stood there.
I was 19 when horrible lies came to light. When CPS accused me of wanting my cats more than my child. They used what I had said, under severe pain, while in the hospital, against me. Yes I wanted my cats. I wanted anyone or anything to comfort me while I was in that kind of pain. I wasn't given pain meds. I was barely given oxygen as I was struggling to breathe due to the extreme amounts of pain I was in. So of course, I wanted my cats. They would of given me comfort. They would of helped in keeping me centered. Focused. Where my partner was doing nothing of the sort, they would of stepped up. It had nothing to do with not wanting my baby and had everything to do, with just wanting someone to encourage me where I was getting nothing.
By the time I was 19 1/2 I had to make an adult's decision. Under duress, I signed my rights off. Making my daughter a ward of the Crown. All because her father's family, had several convicted child offenders in their family. But my agony at the hands of that family didn't end. Oh no. It was 4 years later, when her father and I split. And only this year (2024) when I found out, through a private investigator, that her father's mother, while married to a registered sex offender, adopted my daughter at just 7months of age. How myself, a person with no federal convictions, could have a child taken away, but people with multiple federal convictions could adopt that same child, to this day, blows my mind. It's beyond understanding it all.
What angers me about the 2024 Presidential Election is this, it pisses me off.
No copyright infringement intended,the clip and audio credit go to their respective owners, just using it for educational purposes only.
You are a child. You are NINETEEN. You have zero idea what it's like to lose a child. To listen as your child's heart skips literal minutes. Not seconds. Minutes. For you to be a Breyer influencer, is deeply disturbing and upsetting, especially when people hear you say shit like the following;
So let me educate you again. You are a child living at home with mommy and daddy, who pay for everything you could ever want. They pay the bills, they pay the rent/mortgage. They make sure there's food on your table and in your horses' guts. They make sure the vet bills are paid, the farrier bills are paid, the insurence on the trucks and trailers are paid. You do nothing but go to school and clearly, somewhere along the ways, even that has failed you.
For you to be so blind by what Trump wants to do and could do, blows my mind and clearly your followers feel the same way. You are a breyer influencer. What you say, influences not just your generation, but it affects the younger ones as well. People who are geninely scared right now, feeling hopeless right now and who realize and understand the literal threat Trump poses to them, to the livlihoods, and so on, are understandably and justifyably upset. But yet, you say shit like the above, without a care.
You speak words callously and without any sort of empathy, understanding, or respect. Or even the maturity to understand why people are upset. And it's this clear lack of maturity, that is showing in your reels and posts. You say people are harassing you, yet you went and harassed someone else, for no reason, other than for attention. You then hoped people, your followers, would side with you. What you weren't expecting, is for the mass exoduious of people unfollowing you and more than likely, posting about how shitty of a human being you actually are.
So. Let me rain some education on you. All information given to you, has been fact checked and confirmed as true. So if you still wish to disbelieve me, then do your own research. Use that thing we call a brain for something other than a cowgirl's hat rack.
But let me make a few things clear.
I DON'T VOTE.
I'm a Canadian and I simply can't be assed to vote. I view it this way; regardless of WHO is running, they will keep just enough of their promises made, kept, before they fuck us over. Our current prime minister is an amazing example of this. He was caught, Driving Under the Influence of Marijuana. So instead of FACING those charges, what does our idiot of a Prime Minister do? He makes the recreational use of Marijuana LEGAL and to a certain extent, you can even DRIVE while only MIDLY under the influence of it.
The plan seems amazing! Brilliant even! But then, you have people who simply CAN'T tell how much they've had, drive, and get into head on collisons with others, ending in injuries and fatatilies.
He once said he wouldn't touch our right to an abortion. Now? Now he's contemplating touching something JUST because the "USA did it!"
And here is where I, a woman whose had to have medically needed abortions, both early in the term and later in the term, will weigh in.
This is DEEPLY personal. I've only ever told a small few about what I went through in 2021. But below is a summary of it. Understand, I grieve, each and every June 20th. I get depressed, I secluded myself away, and I stop eating leading up too and long after, that date. I lose all will to live temporarily, because I feel so hurt by the choice that was left open to me. I spend those long, dark days, questioning my faith, the Gods, myself, and the progress of medical science. But more importantly, I remember. I remember the sounds, the pain of being induced, the medical lawsuit that followed (which I won't dive into), and the simple fact that, for whatever reason, had I been in the USA, under a Trump Administration, I would of been FORCED to watch my baby die, and my family would of been FORCED to watch as I possibly died as well.
So I think people need to understand 2 important things.
Religion has no business in the discussion surrounding abortion.
Politics has no business in the discussion surrounding abortion.
Why?
Because in 2021 I lost a set of twins. I lost the first CONFIRMED by not one, but TWO doctors, in January 2021. I got a STEADY period right up to operation day. But I only noticed something was wrong, when my body became touch sensitive (this issue was a very painful one. Even wearing clothing HURT), especially in the abdomanal area.
An emergency ultrasound later, in May 2021, confirmed everyone's worst nightmare; I was pregnant. Roughly 5 months along by that point. But something made the Ultrasound tech have me get another set of Ultrasounds and upon the second batch, is when we discovered that the baby was suffering from LIFE THREATENING issues.
These issues included; her heart had formed on her back with no skin covering it and ALL arteries exposed. One lung formed and as was, was malformed and only partially functioning. No right kidney. And HALF her spinal coloumn hadn't formed from the neck down to the middle of her shoulder blades.
She had a LESS than FIVE PERCENT chance of surviving the labor. Whereas I had a less than 15% chance of surviving the labor even with an eergency c-section.
My religion (Pagan), views ALL life forms as SACRED but in that moment, my faith and political views had ZERO implications on what was considered RIGHT by not just myself, but by those whom were, at the time, closest to me.
The decision to HUMANELY end a doomed pregnancy was my ONLY OPTION open to me. And on June 20th, 2021, at Six months pregnant, well within the statue of limitation under BC medical law, my baby's life, was HUMANELY ended in an act of mercy.
NONE OF YOU who are against abortion, can even begin to fathom, how devestating it is, to be hooked to a heart monitor belt, and hear how weak your baby's heart actually is. To hear it SKIP literal beats for SEVERAL MINUTES, not seconds, MINUTES, is gut wrenching. And then, while you're laying outside the OR, as it's been prepped, you hear the monitor suddenly FLATLINE not once, but TWICE.
The decision to end my pregnancy involved WEEKS of gut wrenching discussions with doctors, nurses, theapists, friends, family, and myself.
What needs to be said is; I DIDN'T WANT TO TERMINANTE.
But as with owning a pet, I had a duty to make sure my baby didn't SUFFER. And suffer she would of. The ONLY thing, keeping her alive, was the umbical cord. THAT. WAS. IT.
She would of SLOWLY suffocated to death after being born and it would of been slow. It would of been agonizing. And it WOULDN'T of been painless nor humane.
I spent days afterwards, at home, alone, crying. I would often press my hands to my abdomen and think "what did I do wrong?", "could I've prevented it?" etc.
So my disillusioned one. When you say you have the right to an opinion, why yes, yes you do, but for those who recognize the route Trump and his Administration is heading, we have a right to tell you to FUCK OFF. My family fought in both World Wars. We saw the dead. We saw the rotting corspes. We saw our brothers in arms get blown up till there was nothing left. We've had to walk over ally and foe alike on the frontlines. And to this day, there are graves with no bodies, and even more with no names, because dogtags, to this day are still being recovered from the World War One frontlines, from battlefields long disused.
We remember, because you and many like you, have clearly forgotten. You have forgotten what happened on D-Day. You have forgotten what happened in France, Poland, Hungary, and so many other frontlines, long since forgotten but not to our veterans, who remember those battles as vividly as if they happened yesterday, because to them, they did. You've forgotten the battles fought to free Jewish Concentration Camp Slaves, people viewed by a person with eeriely similar views to that of Trump, as little more than useless dogs, not even worthy to be called that at times.
Your words are callious. They lack empathy. They lack respect. They lack understanding. And worse still, they show that you don't have the maturity needed and required to vote, nevermind have an opinion. Because I have had civil conversations with people who voted for Trump, who not only understand the fear and concerns, they're willing to make sure, that those fears and concerns never come to light. But you? You truly don't get it and you never will.
Not until you've gone through, what countless other women go through. The countless miscarriages. The countless doctor visits for failed IVF treatments. The countless tears, heartbreak, and self doubts.
Do you even understand what a woman, whose needed a medically required abortion gets called by people like you, who claim you're understanding? No? Let me enlighten you. We get called sluts, whores, prostitues, and far worse. We get told we deserved to be raped, to be defiled, that we asked for it, when that's never the case and shouldn't be the rhotic that gets talked about. But it often times is. Somehow, someway, at no fault of our own, we asked for our babies to die, we asked to suffer a miscarriage, we asked to be raped, we asked to be molsted, to be defiled by family or friends or people we thought and assumed we could trust but in reality, we clearly couldn't.
You've not endured any of this. You've not had to endure the gut wrenching process of determining whether you wanted a tiny casket or a tiny urn. You've not had to decide whether to bury your infant's body or cremate it. You've not had to endure countless years of grieving, of self doubt, of questions that'll never be answered. You, who are nineteen and still live at home. You, who think it's okay to act in the manner in which you have.
And you wonder why people are pissed off or upset with you.
I suggest you listen and relisten and just LISTEN to what it sounds like. To know one minute is all it took to end a war. That only one minute prior, you and Germany were at war, that you were enemies. That you were half starved, sick and injured in trenches filled with filth far worse then you would find in any barn. Filled with vermin such as rats, ticks, lice, and far worse. And then. As the deafening crash of canon and gunfire slowly faded, a singular lark began to sing. Despite the mar. Despie the decay, the ruin and death all around it, that bird bravely sang.
You may have forgotten. But I and my family have not. Your right to an opinion, your freedom to express it, is stained with the blood of millions who have died so you could have that right and that freedom.
But let me tell you this. The day you voted for a person who idolizes Hitler, is the day you lost my respect, my empathy and my desire to hear your side of things, because as far as I'm concerned, you have now become an enemy. And a person I no longer desire to know, to understand. I have no desire to engage with someone who has extremist views, or shares those views alongside others. Because my brothers have paid the price. My brothers have watched as their brothers and sisters in arms, were blown up by extremists. Who sustained injuries brought on and caused by extremists. Whose views mirrored those of other extremists.
The day you voted for someone who refuses to accept history as facts, by those who were there, by those who witnessed it firsthand, is the day you lost your right to tell me how to feel and how to not feel.
You missy. Have no say. So do us all a favor and sit down. You look like a fool.
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